Sunday, April 18, 2010

Like father... Like son:)

Like Father... Like son!! LOL Gage is drooling... Let's hope ML isn't!!

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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Wednesday, April 14, 2010, 11:11 AM

Well on 4-6-2010 I was hysterical and laughing because of the Spanish video that was sent, now I am Worried or Nervous. Today at 2pm we have a cookie swallow test at PCMH and Beth is very nervous because Gage has had nothing by mouth in over 6 months since his feeding tube was put in and he has been wretching (which is horrible to witness) a lot in the last few weeks. His lungs to Aunt Kim already tell me he is aspirating his secretions and now today we are going to give him something to drink and hope to keep him from wretching, aspirating, and oh yes keep him breathing while all this is happening.  You see during these wretching events Gage likes to throw in those periods where he will have a hard seizure and stop breathing, so I feel like my nerves are on the outside of my body today. BUT WHAT THE LORD TAKES YOU TO-HE WILL TAKE YOU THRU......At least that is what I am holding onto with both hands today.  So whoever reads this be in pray for us today and the tech s who have to put up with Rambo Aunt Kim today because I will not put up with a lot when it comes to my sugar plum.  I know Beth is ready to knock me out this morning because i have called telling her to bring the Decompression tube for his feeding tube so I can draw out all that feeding if the wretching gets too bad, and an extra tube, and we have to be prepared with Diastat if he goes into a hard seizure---This test has to be done to see how much he is aspirating, if he can swallow, and then Speech Therapy can come in and work with strengthening his muscles in throat/jaw/head at home. Pray for us today. Tomorrow Gage has his follow up eye appt in Duke. They will see if he needs another ERG to determine the extent of blindness or if he is seeing better. To be honest at times i think he does focus a little better, and this must be when the seizures are controlled. This leads me to the fact that we have the DVD in English on the Vagal Nerve Stimulator that would be implanted in Gage's chest and then impulses would stimulate the nerve to the brain to interrupt seizures-however some drawbacks that Aunt Kim has seen and wants answers to-FDA approved for age 12 and up. Gage will be 2 in May. The type of seizures in Gage are multiple and the tested type with this device are 2 main types it seems.  Anyway we will speak with the MD and go from there. It is about Quality of Life, and again Beth and ML will make that decision based on what the Lord leads us to do.  The Lord's will be done in the end in all of our lives. So pray for us today. Thank you. The Lord has been Good to Us. We are so blessed. Aunt Kim
*BETH*

Thursday, April 8, 2010, 4:52 PM

From a laughing hysterically Aunt Kim,,,, The DVD arrived to Beth and ML's home for them to view. They get ready to put it into the player and all of sudden Spanish is drifting out of the speakers/and on the material inside the DVD package which is very pretty by the way. (I don't think they actually put it in the machine but it sounded funnier). Anyway, I can tell you that Gage's little brother's probably know more Spanish than Beth and ML. I called the number on the back of the DVD and said that we appreciated the DVD but if she could not tell with my country twang that English was my native language and I would appreciate another DVD. You could probably look at this and "figure it out" but when we are implanting a device into my little sugar plums brain and chest I think we need to hear it in English.  I laugh because I can picture my Dad trying to figure this out--if you know Papa he would try if he had to for Gage.  Gage has a swallow test on Wed 4-14 and Eye appt at Duke on 4-15; then back to Duke for a whole day of it on 4-21 where we will see Neurologist, Nephrologist, and potentially the surgeon.  Right now Gage has something going on with his eyes-infection? and Aunt Kim is headed there to take a look and take his blood pressure.  It is funny how my stomach has been in a knot over this DVD coming and the Decision and then the Lord intervenes with humor-----Spanish version. At least I thought it was funny or I may have just started losing it..........love Aunt Kim
*BETH*
Friday, April 2, 2010, 2:10 PM

Well today is Good Friday, and I have a lot to be thankful for with my family and friends and work, the sunshine, the rains we received this past week, my church family, my good friends Diane and Carlton,  Megan, Haley, Conaby, Jesse, Beth and Zach who even though I am not their Aunt call me Aunt Kim, and to those aggravating kids--Elliott, Taylor, Erica, Cody, Ryan and Gage I am a blessed woman. On top of all that I have Chuck, Hattie, Macho, Rambo, Shania, Ace, Snoop, and 7 pups who I share my daily life that bring me great joy. I am blessed.  I have the Lord who took my whipping on that cross for sins I committed. What a blessed person I am. What a loved person I am. It is a shame that I have to keep reminding myself daily of this. That some days I let LIFE make me forget for just a moment the blessings, and sacrifice my Lord made just for ME, Kim Elliott Hough. But....and there is always a but we let emotions rule and try to Fix things instead of letting the Lord have them or we try to deal with things in this life we cannot change and the frustration and the "oh poor is me" starts.....until, we stop and realize how blessed we are. Sometimes with me, it takes one tiny moment like today after I received the news that Gage's neurologist has been fighting with the drug company to get him into the drug study but since he has increased activity on the left side of his brain in addition to the seizures in the back of his brain that he cant be in the study. The neurologist told Beth that Gage is unique but we knew that, and he said that since we have tried just about every medication out there that meds would only help in Gage's case less than 5% of the time. Meaning would could experiment with multiple combinations that may never work with side effects etc.....or his recommendation would be to implant a neurotransmitter into Gage's brain.  OK-you can all cringe now; or start crying like me....but yes that is the ONLY recommendation Dr Gallentine which we love has for us for increased Quality of Life.  He said all along that Gage would always have some type of seizures, but we need to decrease the number per day for Quality of Life. That is our major goal. It may also help us take away some of the other seizure medications a little at a time and there is a device that when he has one where he is not breathing we would hold over the device in Gage and it should decrease the severity of the seizure. They are sending a DVD, and when we go on the 4-21 they will let us speak with the surgeon. They make 2 incisions one on the chest and one at the back of the head.  This is a lot to digest.  There are a lot of people who will read this email even now and say "Why will they put that little boy thru this?" I can honestly answer you this.  If this will bring Gage comfort on a daily basis for as long as we have him ie..decrease the number and severity of his seizures then it is a no brainer. We will pray about, and if it is the Lord's will it will be done.  Quality of Life. Beth and ML will make that decision may the Lord guide and direct them.  As for me, after the heard the decision I was upset, a little angry, and then Hattie and I went and picked up Erica from School early and spent the day with the bunch of puppies in the yard cleaning out their pens and giving them their first baths.  They are just deer hound puppies but they were pampered pooches at the end of the day....God is Good. He is Risen Indeed. May you be as blessed as I am daily.......Love, Aunt Kim
*BETH*

Saturday, February 27, 2010, 11:51 AM
From Aunt Kim....Well, Feb 24 Wed. Gage, Beth and I went to Duke for an Ultra sound of his kidneys and bladder and to see (we thought ) the new nephrologist that Dr Gallentine, who is Gage's neurologist that we love, wanted us to see. The pediatricians were given a card with the specific name-Dr Rasheed Gbadgesin to make the appointment with and his phone number. Well......they made it with someone else in the group. So when we checked in and went to ultra sound early they took us right in and then we were 1 1/2 hours early for MD appt so we went to Childrens Hosp and they signed us in and said if the MDs in the morning could get around to us they would try. There are 2 MDs in am and then they switch 2 in pm. Well, PRAISE BE TO THE LORD. Beth, Gage and I are sitting there doing his feedings, nebulizers, meds etc his blood pressure today is 135/90 and in walks DR RASHEED. You see even we get things in our lives all messed up- God fixes them. The pediatrician scheduled it with the wrong MD;  Dr Rasheed agreed to see us/work us in the am clinic; x ray worked us in early---God's hands we're all over this so Gage and Dr Rasheed could connect.  We really liked him-as well we should since this I felt was all set up by the Lord himself. How many times though does the Lord hit me over the head with "Wow" moments and I think my way is still better?  Anyway today for once I hushed and went with the flow.  Gage's ultra sound showed good kidney and bladder flow, and was relatively a "normal" test. His blood pressure is too high. Dr Rasheed wants it to be 90/40 target at the highest 100/50-60. So I will take for 2 weeks three times a week in leg and arm and fax to him. He doubled his current blood pressure pill. He was not taking enough based on weight-I am a little upset (but today is a blessing day so let it go) b/c I have been screaming adjustment due to wt gain and all we do is get clapping for how big he is getting. He has lost some wt-4-5 pounds.  The MD asked us if his pediatrician knew about his lungs and coughing and I am always embarrassed to say-yes they know he has pneumonia since Jan 10 and is coughing, choking, using a suction machine for secretions, but still not on an antibiotic...I really in my heart do not believe they would let their own kids be like this for over a month. Beth will take him next week if he continues.  Gage had labs drawn to rule out endocrinological blood pressure reason and the little lab man was so sweet got it on the first stick and Gage never whimpered even when Aunt Kim's head and the lab man's head just about hit as I was holding his leg.  It always helps when Beth says "you got 2 sticks" just before they stick.....sweat pops out and they look at me and say "that's right I hope your feeling lucky".  Friday, Feb 26...Aunt Kim wakes up at 3am because I think I heard someone beeping the horn outside and I am late. But I have to be up in 30 minutes anyway so I get up. Gage was up at 230am Beth said and we are all walking zombies as we load up in the truck for the 6 hour EEG to measure brain seizure activity. We arrive to Duke and Gage is coughing, gagging and wretching at times. The girl that is hooking is head up tells us she plans to unhook him at 300pm to get us out before traffic. Gage likes to have his head scrubbed and rubbed so it doesn't bother him. We also have to put a urine bag on (which I am sure is so very comfortable) and then later on I run that over to the Children's Hospital. He goes from lying down, to sitting in my lap, to Beth's lap, to lying down, to rolling on his stomach....over and over. We have the TV on Dora and Sponge Bob...by 3pm I am humming these words to these cartoons and I feel like if I have to hear it one more time I am going to scream. No wonder mothers and fathers buy kids TVs to go in their kids rooms. It would drive me insane. Thank goodness Hattie doesn't have a favorite TV show.  My brother ML called and talked with Gage and Beth held the phone up to his ear. I just about lost it. Gage had been kind of fussy, but when he heard his daddy's voice he sat right still in his mama's lap and he was concentrating on that voice and his eyebrows would lift up and he was so still. Tears-Wow. Even writing this wow. We will not know the results of this until Dr Gallentine calls, and this will be a part of what will qualify Gage for the study. I will let you know.  We were very very tired on the way home. Gage coughed and wretched and required suctioning. Hopefully he will get some relief from this pneumonia soon. Thank you for the prayers-we had answered prayers, and we are truly blessed. I love that little man sooooooooooooooooooooooo much my heart hurts.  I am blessed beyond belief I had a nephew turn 19 this week-Elliott-attending East Carolina University. Niece who is driving with supervision -Taylor-Gage's sister-please stay off the road when you see her coming. Just Kidding...an Older, Wiser, Crazier, Aunt Kim
*BETH*
Monday, February 22, 2010, 9:54 AM
Aunt Kim is home today and has been this week with SHINGLES. OK, I went to the regular dentist on Friday the 12th with tooth/jaw pain and was set up to have 2 root canals and a crown performed on Monday 15th by a Surgeon. Well, I took antibiotics all weekend and I am terrified of the dentist. My dad took me to the dentist.  Papa was giving me Pep talks the whole time. Well, they take x rays and as soon as the Surgeon looks in my mouth-shingles diagnosis. He rules out the need for root canals-but still need crown b/c one tooth is cracked. The funny part is I walk out and my dad is thinking I am chickening out until I tell him it is shingles. It is not contagious to Gage I asked these MDs and my favorite pediatrician (not Gage's current ones). I cant kiss Gage or Chuck or swap saliva--yuck.  Gage still has pneumonia, and his lungs sound horrible. He has a horrible cough at times and we are still doing nebulizers, inhalers, but the secretions are clear. Fever is a very LATE with sign Gage. I really think with his DX he has temperature regulation issues b/c he hardly ever (until the end) runs a true temperature.  I had agreed to keep Gage for Beth and ML to go to seminar to help them with services in Greenville. Chuck and Erica were my helpers, and all I did was the feedings and medications. He arrived at 515pm and left almost 845pm and slept almost the entire time on Hattie's (my 80lb Lab) bed. Gage loves her bed-I wash the cover, put quilts over it and elevate the top so it is like he has bed with head elevated.  Hattie sniffs at him and lays next to him and then ignores him.  Chuck and Erica handled the contact things with him-that was Hard for me.  Gage only gets about 1/2 his 8pm feeding due to his Jenny Craig plan-haha (lost 3-4 pounds) but it truly is sad when you draw up all these meds 7-8 syringes at least and nebs etc for "bedtime".  What a blessing you have when you struggle to get a child in the bathtub, in pjs and in bed and that's it.....I don't downplay this but I know there are others out there who do so much more than we do for Gage. We should Never take it for granted how hard or easy something is... Beth filled out one of these questionnaires and it continues to bother me that what she would like to do would be have a weekend. How simple does that sound to all of you. I know that even with kids with no problems you have to arrange sitters-times, clothes, pickup times etc...but look at Gage and others like him.  God knows what he is doing with mother's, and the pressure they are under day in and day out.  The Unconditional Love of a Mother. I do not have a child. I had Sammi and I have Hattie and when I went to Biloxi I packed her up and sent her to Lisa's with instructions and totes filled with her things. God looks after mother's he has to b/c they have to be superhuman to do what they do mentally and physically.  Someone a Jamesville school recently asked me how Gage was and told ME what a blessing I was to him-NO WAY. You see they or whoever reads this doesn't get it. Gage has and always will be a blessing to me and my family. Each of my family is touched in a different way by Gage's disease, and we each handle it in a different way. We are not perfect. We fight about what we think is right-we are very vocal in our family. Anyway.... Today is Monday Feb 22 and I just realized I didn't send this....Aunt Kim and shingles wow affecting my brain. We go to Duke Wed to see the new nephrologist and to have an ultra sound so we will be speeding from the Childrens Hospital to the Main Hospital with Gage kicked back in his new wheelchair. We are experts at the escalator now....On Friday we return to Duke at 8am (leave home 430am-5) and Gage hopefully will be the only one sleeping on the way up there. He will have a 6 hour EEG brain scan to qualify him for the Duke study. So please pray for us this week for travel mercies and Gage for the outcomes of these tests will determine if he can get into the medication study at Duke for new seizure medication. Beth and I will sing that old familiar song " On the Road Again"......love Aunt Kim I hope I sent it this time. 
*BETH*
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Update.2.11.2010From Aunt Kim, One Step Ahead and Two Steps Back.  Today is ML and Beth's anniversary and Gage had a follow up chest x ray today that showed persistent pneumonia in that right lung. Well, alright. Beth and I have been going back and forth about meds this week due to the changes-side effects etc....and Gage had developed a cough but he is on some new nebulizer medications. Anyway Papa and Beth are in Greenville waiting to see the Pediatrician we like and see what she wants to do.  Beth called me and we have some back up plans for Home Health IVs and Home Health Respiratory Therapy and etc if they will let us if they do not decide to admit him or send him home with another round of by mouth antibiotics. Evidently, we have to be a little more aggressive this time.  So I am waiting for a call, and praying that all is well and Papa has instructions.  He actually is worse than I am about gage if you can believe that.  It is times like these where I sit here waiting on a phone call, and I again thank the good Lord for all the blessings he has given me.  God bless the Little Children, and their parents. Guard them and keep them safe. Thurs.1004am...they sent him home with pneumonia diagnosis, no antibiotics, to stay on nebulizers and "watch him'.  OK?  His x ray at eastern radiology by radiologist "persistent pneumonia" on right side with aspiration. As a nurse I try, believe me, I try, to understand the treatment plan we have for Gage. I understand that to give him antibiotics every time he sniffles may create a problem with him sensitivity in the future to other organisms, but he has pneumonia by x ray. Beth was sent how with a treatment plan- to rub vicks on his chest but not too much;  and to come back immediately when the secretions turn colors. Gage is already coughing, and when the MD walked in she commented that his upper airway noisiness sounded uncomfortable, but no antihistamine/etc....It just gets a little frustrating.  When Beth told her about his overweight issue-she laughed ; and made no comment on the diet changes the Pulmonolgist made on the formula. She is the Pediatrician-and by definition she is the Captain of the ship Gage is on.  I can tell you there is getting ready to be a mutiny and the Captain is going for a swim.  Aunt Kim's little sugar plum is hanging on, but don't worry the Lord is in Control and I have become complacent in this recently. He will deal with us and me. Holding on.....Aunt Kim...
*BETH*