Feeling Better........:)

The past day or so has actually been kinda quiet around here. Gage is finally starting to feel better, and is getting back into his routine! He did have a pretty bad seizure Sat. evening. This time he would scream out in between the eye rolling, and the crunches. It pains me everytime he has this type, because the scream is his "it hurts" scream, and I cant take the pain away from him. I say a little prayer everytime he goes into a seizure, praying that God takes this from him! I wish it was me that this was happening to, not my baby boy! I do feel helpless, most of the time, sitting there watching him, and being able to do nothing but comfort him. I rub him (so he knows I am there), and tell him everything is going to be alright! BE ALRIGHT???? When is this going to happen? When is all this going to stop for him? I know its in the Lords hands, and in his own time my questions will be answered! I just have to find enough strength, and faith to get me there!

Pam, Gage, and I got up and went to church this morning! I know it is just a small step, but.... it is a step! There has been alot of built up anger inside of me. The Devil has been making me question my God, and my faith! I know I have to push past him, and do what I feel is right in my heart, for me! Im not a selfish person, and I always put needs of others before my own....... but this is something I am doing for ME!! I thought I had come to terms with things, but inside I havent fully! I feel alone, depressed, mad, a overall emotional wreck, and there is nobody that can do, or say anything to make me feel better! I have to do this for myself!